I find that some mistakes can never be made enough. There are just some things that become repetitious in the routine of life, even things that are harmful to us, whether physically or emotionally. Despite the fact that you’ve walked through the fire and have come out the other side, you remain unchanged, or at least the change hasn’t taken a permanent residence inside of you. It’s madness isn’t it? To try and try and you can’t even give yourself an answer as to why you do it? That’s the crazy thing about an inner monologue; there is no one but you (and God) but you refuse to be honest. I’m often a great liar to myself. It’s good, in those moments, to have a best friend who let’s you know how ridiculous you are for trying to walk a tight rope again.
I know this whole post up until now has been a random brain rant, so to turn the tables…
I am finally starting to feel the excitement of Eisley’s birthday rather than sadness. As the day draws near and the plans start falling into place, I can’t wait to celebrate my little beauty. I am so anxious, in fact, that I gave her her present already. GAH!! I always do that. I just have to become one of those people who shop the day before.. Or I could practice patience… But that doesn’t sound like any fun. Jojo and I got her a little drum that came with sticks and 4 different types of shakers. She cracks me up trying to play beats. To be in this family you have to start your instrument young!