For a while now I have had the intention of sharing Eisley’s birth story. Everyone is so unique, as is the way we come into this world. I won’t share anything that would be considered inappropriate, however, this is a story about birth and the word vagina is not a bad word. So get over yourselves.

Life is not for the faint of heart.

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Before we ever became pregnant we knew we wanted to have a home birth. Jojo was a home birth (a story that is so full of misadventure and beauty that you must hear it someday!) and we felt secure and safe which our decision to birth in the comfort and control of where we lived. I realize that for most people who are uneducated to the workings of home-birth, words like “safety”, “security” and “control” must rarely seem to be associated with birthing outside of a hospital/hospital environment, but I assure you, that is a common misconception. I feel the need to say that I do not look down upon mothers who choose to birth in hospitals. I believe that all women should birth where ever they feel is the best place to bring their child into the world. It’s a honor that God has only bestowed to us women and we should be allowed to be where ever we can get the job done the best for our little ones.

With, what I believed would be, a month left of pregnancy, we were thrown a curveball that seemed to shatter the world for me. I would not be allowed to birth in our home because of liability concerns from our landlords. Even with a reassurance from our midwives and an agreement to sign any sort of legal documents that would ease them, we were hit with a solid red light. I remember crying, telling Jojo that our baby would just have to be born in the back of our car. In case you’ve not yet picked up on it, or you yourself have yet to be pregnant, DRAMA was my middle name. (Still is in some cases!)

At 11:30pm June 10th I felt my very first contraction. I didn’t tell Jojo as we were laying down to go to bed because I wanted to make sure he would get rest that night; I knew I wouldn’t. Again, if you haven’t had a baby yet, there is a slight terrifying thought that runs through your head as you start feeling contractions. The though is “It’s happening and I don’t think I can stop it.”

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The contraction continued slowly through the night, and on throughout the day of June 11th. I forgot to mention that at this point I am one day away from being 42weeks pregnant. Jojo went to work and I sat around the house with my Mama trying to distract myself with games and movies. When Jojo came home we played Skipbo and every time my turn came we all had to pause while I breathed heavy through a contraction that was becoming more and more unbearable. It was getting to the point where I was becoming unable to talk my way through the contractions and after some wrestling with the will of our midwife, we got in two cars and drove towards their cottage/office. I remember that drive being very long, and very wet. The rain was coming down softly outside and hardly any cars were on the road. It must have been close to 7pm. At an intersection I remember seeing a car’s headlights coming straight at us. Some random crazy was driving on the wrong side of the road! I remember praying that they wouldn’t hit my mom and friend Esther who were a couple streets behind us. That took up some room in my brain which made it easier to get through some very rough contractions. I mean it when I say that the contractions are the worst part.

I was only at 6 centimeters when we had the midwife check me. So two more hours of walking around screaming! Initially, our birth plan involved water birth. Jojo blew up the tub which took up over half of the remaining space in the room. The tub was able to be filled a few inches with water before we had no more hot water for the rest of the night. SO, unable to remove the pool quickly from the setting, and unable to utilize it, a large chunk of the room was unusable and the other half was taken up by a rickety futon. I’m at 8 centimeters. Two more hours. The thought crosses my mind that it can’t possibly get worse. But it does. I think the worst part about birthing pains in natural birth is that there isn’t any way to console yourself. You get a headache and you can take some tylenol, drink some caffeine, use an ice pack etc.. same thing with other body aches. With a contraction, there is just nothing. It hurts, then it hurts worse. I remember looking at Jojo, as I hung low from his shoulders and I told him that I didn’t think I could do it. He looked down at me so sweetly and said, “You have to.” Hahahaha…. oh man….

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I finally reached 10 centimeters and was able to start pushing, which I did hunched over my yoga ball. It took two hours to get that little bear cub out, but she finally came! 3:25AM June 12, 2013 Jojo and I became parents! It couldn’t believe she was finally here! I also couldn’t believe how insanely long her head was! No one tells you that your baby looks super creepy the moment it comes out. I couldn’t hold Eisley right away because I felt like my heart was exploding. I hurt my throat and chest from all the screaming I did. The irony in that is, I told my whole birth class that I get really quiet when I am hurting so I probably wouldn’t be using any of the guttural growling noises we learned. HA! Fluid had built up in my chest all the way to my cheeks from the screaming. It sounded like rice krispies whenever I touched my face or neck. I still don’t really know what that was till this day, but it went away after a day or two.

Jojo was the first to hold Eisley and he cut her umbilical chord after it stopped pumping blood.

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I can’t think of a better moment in time than that morning. Then I began to feel things I could never describe to other soul, only I now know what it feels like to be whole.

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(Ignore my big fat sumo chin please.)

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